Humor
Three prisinors are captured in the war, and are about to be executed.
They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa
. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express card."
A man found a bottle on a beach and a genie popped out...
The genie said, "Sir, you may have one and only one wish."
The man said, "I know exactly what I want.
I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm afraid to fly and to travel by boat or ship makes me sick, so I want you to build me a bridge from here to Hawaii, so I can drive there."
The genie thought for a moment and replied, "That's a tough one. Do you know how much pavement that is?
Do you realize how many pilings that would require?
Plus when you cross the Pacific Ocean, some of the pilings will have to go over 1 mile in depth to the ocean floor.
Please kind sir, think of an easier wish."
The man thought again, and said, "Ok, if I cannot have the bridge ... then my wish is to understand women:
What makes them happy?
What makes them sad?
And why are they so tempermental?"
The genie thought for a moment and replied,
"Do you want that bridge a 2 lane or a 4 lane?
Q:A blonde and a brunette fall off a building. Which hits the ground first?
A:The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Two blondes were taking a trip to visit Disneyland.
On the way they saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left"
They both started to cry.
They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.
- The Italian asks for Peperoni Pizza, which he is served and then taken away.
- The Frenchmen requests a Filet Mignon, which he is served and also taken away.
- The Jewish man requests a plate of strawberries.
- The captors are surprised and reply "STRAWBERRIES?"
- "Yes, Strawberries."
- "But they are out of season!"
- "I'll wait..."
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa
. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express card."
A man found a bottle on a beach and a genie popped out...
The genie said, "Sir, you may have one and only one wish."
The man said, "I know exactly what I want.
I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm afraid to fly and to travel by boat or ship makes me sick, so I want you to build me a bridge from here to Hawaii, so I can drive there."
The genie thought for a moment and replied, "That's a tough one. Do you know how much pavement that is?
Do you realize how many pilings that would require?
Plus when you cross the Pacific Ocean, some of the pilings will have to go over 1 mile in depth to the ocean floor.
Please kind sir, think of an easier wish."
The man thought again, and said, "Ok, if I cannot have the bridge ... then my wish is to understand women:
What makes them happy?
What makes them sad?
And why are they so tempermental?"
The genie thought for a moment and replied,
"Do you want that bridge a 2 lane or a 4 lane?
Q:A blonde and a brunette fall off a building. Which hits the ground first?
A:The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Two blondes were taking a trip to visit Disneyland.
On the way they saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left"
They both started to cry.
